I'm naked. Vulnerable, vulnerable, helpless. Every stranger is now an enemy. Even sister Kerstin. Gently wringt the washcloth on the blue plastic bowl next to my bed. Water drops trickle into it. I notice that my biggest enemy is not them, but my fear. "So, now I wash down times, Ms. Diehl," says the young nurse Altenberg.
For fear of shame is. For a moment an eternity. "Is it okay for you?", She asks me. "Yes, yes," I lie. Kerstin sister turns me on the side. Directly next to me, it propagates a paper napkin on the snow-white bed sheets and rolls me about it. Glue to seal, trouser high: expedition "old" has begun.
For one day and one night I inhabitant of a Senior home. I want to experience how it feels, and old to be of help. My fictional inhabitants Act provides my life. Nadine Diehl, built in 1928. Incontinent? Tick. Disrupted motor? Tick. In your movement restricted? Tick. Supplement: Can stand, but is not mobile.
An old man feels just as strongly boredom?
Room number 104th The hands placed in the womb I sit on my bed and let his feet dangle. For the first time I have time for me to restrict my right to become aware. The longer I sit, the harder feel in my legs. The lead up feeling wanders into my Zehspitzen. I have the urge to stand up - but I can not.
Gladly, I would now go to lunch alone, but I have to wait until I pick up a guardian. Maybe it still takes half an hour, maybe only ten minutes. The sense of time, I have now totally lost? so no television and no clock. While I wait, I suddenly thought shoot through the head of parties and reduced dancing. Whether an old man are the same things as I spin? He feels as strong boredom?
My head is dancing on, my pulse is proposing to the bar. Someone is knocking at the door. It is Edeltraud sister: "Ms. Diehl, I bring you to lunch," she says. "Put it out please her arms around my neck, so I put in a wheelchair can." Edeltraud sister is a woman with ample graubraunen, short hair and red cheeks. She wears blue and white striped uniforms and a great spectacle in her mother's face. "Stand, stand, stand," they fired me. I try, I'm not too hard to make. Embarrassingly, from a much older woman to help.
I need urgently to the john, but I do not want
"Can they eat alone or should I give you a meal?" Asks my sister Edeltraud at the table in the dining room. Administer. I see how my neighbor table from another nurse soup into the mouth gelöffelt gets. The old woman stares into the void. The mouth opens it only a small gap wide. After each spoonful blubbert half out and drips on their bib. "No, do I still alone," is my answer. What else should really help the needy people think of me?
Back in my room I lie back in my bed. I need urgently to the john, but I will not. Yes, still persevere and the toilet as long as possible delay, talk to me. But it's not longer. I press the red button attached to a cable above my head dangles. I wait and hope the wait would last forever. But after a short time Edeltraud sister stands in the door. For them is what comes now, mere routine. For me it is a new challenge in the fight against my feeling of shame.
"Attention, because now I grabbel a little rum in their pants," says the nurse, while I am at the bar beside the toilet bowl fixed claws. They clasped me from behind and buttons on my jeans. Inwardly, I balk against the help and to take them anyway. I should be grateful, but I'm not. Then my grazing sister Edeltraud pants down and helps me to the toilet rim. "I go now before the door and call us when you are finished," she explains to me. It takes a while until I can leave the water.
Part of a world that is running in slow motion
Wait again. Lie. Wait. Then it goes to drink coffee and immediately pointed to the seat gym. Finally movement, finally fun. Gradually, the residents in wheelchairs to the practice room gekarrt. The physiotherapist begins with relaxation exercises and shakes his arms out. Ten senior citizens sit in a circle and try a lot of trouble with the movements of the therapist to imitate. Clapping, stamping, shadow boxing.
ON-LINE TO blogs network-platinum Aktkalender: Sex sells - at any age (09.11.2008) My first time: Christina, 21, returns to the Children's Cancer station back (08.10.2008) Wild-Crash Course: For real cowboy in five days (12.10. 2008) Revolter Theater: Hooray, we Games 1968! (08.07.2008) clinic internship in Sudan: cockroaches in the hospital (03.09.2008) vs. pupil. Authorities: Hartz IV, a drama in four acts (29.05.2008) I start to sweat a little. Around me the world is running in slow starting. I try part of this world, but I catch myself when young. "Now we have to wag the tiptoe", the therapist instructions. "And back to the heel."
I let my eyes wander through the round and see happy faces. Faces, so look as if they had the whole day just waiting for this moment. Even my neighbor from lunch table is. The exercises accordingly makes the woman but not with and stares into the void. At irregular intervals, it calls into shrill tone "sister" and "Thank you". What probably just in their approach head?
My hair smell after canteen, a hospital, urine
After dinner I was back in my bed and look out the window. The sun is slowly behind the buildings of the Senior Center and plunges under the last time the roof terrace in orange light. I feel the silence. Except for the noise of passing cars is almost nothing to hear. Only the wind that softly through the windows gekippte whistles, disturbs the solitude.
And the smell - the smell of old people. A mild mixture of canteen, hospital and urine. Only now I notice that even after my nightgown smells, including my hair.
It is dark in the room became 104th The boredom makes me almost mad. I can not sleep, Gruebel. On others to be no more Mr my forces to be. Could I ever live? What if someday I no longer have other choice? I decide never to be old. And not to speculate.
THE AUTORINNadine DiehlNadine Diehl is in real life Built in 1985. She is studying English and economics in Mannheim, makes alongside a journalistic training at the Konrad-Adenauer-Foundation and wants to study after working as a journalist - preferably in the United States or China.
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